I can't make it--I have a migraine.

I cancel plans. I cancel plans a lot. One of my least favorite things about having migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraine disease is my need for lots of quiet alone time, even if I don't want it. I love being social; I love spending time with friends, going to shows, grabbing a beer, or sitting around having craft night. But the migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraines often get me down.

Sometimes I just don't commit to something I would love to attend. That late-night party down the street, the one that's sure to be fun and full of dancing and friends? "Maybe--if I don't feel bad." The movie I've been wanting to see is playing the night before my period is to arrive--most likely I'll have a migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraine then, so going to a movie is just ruled out before I even consider making plans.

Other times, I bail in fear of a migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraine. Big events like weddings, funerals, holidays, and other much-anticipated events are almost sure to be accompanied by an attack. A couple of years ago, I got an invitation to a good friend's wedding. I took some factors into consideration: 1, most weddings entail my pretending to have fun and socialize when really I have throbbing pain behind my eyes; 2, going to an old friend's wedding doesn't guarantee you'll actually get to talk to that person; 3, The venue was nearly two hours from my home--and I didn't have the inclination or money to spend the night in the same town as the wedding--that means I would have a long drive there and back--more triggers.

Out of fear, I wrote a sweet note to my friend and declined the invitation. Turns out she was hurt and disappointed--she'd really wanted me there; I was one of the first friends she'd met as a seventh grader in a new town. So I went. And I had fun. And I got a migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraine on the way home.

Mostly I cancel plans at the last minute when I have an attack coming on. Even if the meds I take do work, the postdrome means I'll be sleepy and out of it and not in the mood to socialize. A few years ago, I'd pop Imitrex or Relpax while at a busy rock show at midnight, sure the headache would be gone in a few minutes so I could continue dancing and rocking out. I was usually right in my judgment then and ended up back up to par an hour or so later, ready to continue to the night. I don't feel that way anymore. Now I skip out when I feel the migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraine coming on and head straight home, realizing that if I push myself I'll feel worse.

Canceling plans makes me feel terrible; my guilt merely compounds the pain and nausea I'm feeling, and that simply doesn't help anyone, the friends I've canceled on or myself. My friends and family are extremely understanding: they know of my health condition and their first priority (and usually mine) is to take care of me. But I still cannot get over the feeling that maybe, just maybe, they think I'm flaky. That I've let them down. That I can't be counted on. And I can't seem to figure out how to get over that.

I read others' blogs, read mantras about taking care of myself, read stories about people going through similar things. Maybe one day soon all that will click. Logically, I know the the choice I make to go home and try to relax is the only healthy choice I can make. Emotionally, I continue to feel like I'm undependable, and that feels pretty rotten.

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I'm coming out!, or, shredding this veil of secrecy

Well, kids, it seems high time I finally just tell you who I am. I'm sure only 2 of you out there are even wondering, but I feel it's an important step for me to say who I am once and for all. As it stands, my mom and sister know about my blog, and they're two of the people who could get hurt most by it (not due to any secrets I spill, more because reading about my illness makes them upset).

My name is Janet Geddis. I am a 28-year-old resident of Athens, GA. As you may already know, I've had migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraines since I was 13--unfortunately (for myriad reasons, the most significant of which was doctors' not reading the signs) I wasn't diagnosed until June 2001. I'm a tutor, storyteller, and general carouser--I am in the market for more stimulating work that's just as meaningful as helping kids and teens.

Here is a photo of me mid-sentence. Quite thrilling, indeed.

That's all for now. Just thought I'd share.

Writing this blog has been so very therapeutic for me; to know that there are others out there who can truly sympathize has worked wonders for the sadness that's often concomitant with this disease. Thank you all.

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fifth time's a charm...right?

I've had the worst streak I've had in awhile. Sure, there've been days I've had some mild pain day after having been icky for a while prior. But today marks the fourth day in a row of having a moderate Migraine headache--and since I'm not supposed to take triptans more than two days a week, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. (Sorry for the cliche--can you blame a half-wit like migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraineous me for not coming up with original witticisms?)

You all saw how I bitched (justifiably, I know--thanks for the reassurance!) on Wednesday about that sudden Migraine headache. I had high hopes that I'd filled my quota for the week then, but no such luck.

Flying into Virginia Thursday was uneventful, but as soon as I was in the car headed from the airport to my our hotel, the sure-fire symptoms began. Took half of an Imitrex (despite the label's order not to split them, I figured I'd cut the 100mg pill and take around 50 mg, thinking that'd be enough to kill the headache) and lay down. The pain was mostly gone in an hour or so. The next day, Friday, I woke up with a headache again but pretended it wasn't there. After all, it was a spa day for my cousin, my aunt, my mom and me! Surely a massage and a facial would heal me right up. Wrong. The pain got worse at lunch, post-spa, and I popped the other half of that Imitrex.

I took a nap at my aunt's and woke up feeling headache-free but extremely groggy and antisocial--not good when there was a casual dinner party over here and I was trying to be much more animated than I felt. (I failed my own test.)

Today I felt bad again but couldn't break the rule even further--after all, Friday marked the third day in a row having a triptan, and I couldn't face the possibility of a rebound headache by taking another triptan. So...I took a nap, my third one in three days. Woke up feeling rested, but the pain returned and is sitting here now, running up and down the left side of my neck, behind my cheekbone, and behind my left eye. An old, obnoxious acquaintance setting up house once again.

I'm traveling. The weather is fluctuating greatly here in VA, and my period ended today. The pollen and allergens in the air are icing on the cake.

I can't wait to feel good again. I realize I ain't got nothin' on the chronic daily headache or Daily Persistent Headache folks, but man! I've had quite enough!

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Janet'http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifs WEGO Health spotlight

I was interviewed for WEGO Health's spotlight feature!

Check it out here.

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June Migraine & Headache Blog Carnival (I'm moderating) - write write write!

Diana Lee at Somebody Heal Me has granted me the honor of being the June host for her remarkably helpful and informative Migraine & Headache Blog Carnival.

June's theme is "How to Have a Fun, Healthy Vacation in Spite of your Migraines." All entries must get to me by 11:59 PM on Friday, June 6. The carnival will be published Monday, June 9.*

To enter, send me an email with your name, your blog address, and a link to the relevant entry you're submitting. My email address is themigrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migrainegirl@gmail.com

You can also submit to the monthly carnival using this newfangled form. Click on the icon in the upper right-hand corner to enter your information.

Thanks so much! I look forward to reading many inspiring entries!

*Off-topic entries will also be considered, but please do try to write on the subject--this will help many people during summer, when lots of folks travel.

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Third time's a charm? Not so much.

Well, I've got to blame someone for this ever-present bout with pain and Migraine headaches. I do want to lay all my blame and anger on THE POLLEN. Perhaps that explains some of my grogginess, too! GO AWAY, POLLEN!

Had a migrainesymptoms.blogspot.com/" title="migraine">migraine attack the moment I left work Wednesday, another yesterday afternoon shortly after finishing my babysitting job around noon (one that didn't disappear until nighttime and two Maxalts), and--surprise!--another the moment I sat up in bed this morning at 7:20. Curses.

The folks who landscape my community's property are here, which means stirred up grass and the pollen droppings (which are all over my roof and porch and grass). Thank goodness I'm leaving town today for the beach! I think salty air will be nicer than yellow air.


See all that brown stuff? POLLEN. All of it ------->

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I'm on the verge...

I can well imagine myself having caffeine this weekend if I don't start feeling better. My head is about 5 times worse than when I wrote earlier this morning, and I can actually smell that polleny, grassy smell pouring out from my air conditioning vents thanks to the lawn dudes and all they stirred up with their fancy equipment. The yard looks great. I do not.

I'm bending the Maxalt rules a bit, too. You know how it says not to take the drug more than three days a week? Well, I took it last weekend and decided that Monday would start a new week. So even though I had a Maxalt on the 17th, 18th, 21st, and 22nd, I'm only counting the second pair of days because...well...because I feel HORRIFIC and cannot function. So Let's pretend the week started on Monday and not Sunday. Work for you? I hope it works for me. I should not risk MOH but feel crippled without being able to help myself through this.

Now that people actually read this blog, I feel sort of ashamed when I admit that I'm not fulfilling promises to myself (i.e., don't take too many triptans in too short a time, Janet!). But I also have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not alone in this struggle and think that, for those of you who read this, hearing that someone else is on the cusp of doing the forbidden in terms of drug treatment might resonate with you.

Wah.

Overcast, pollinated day
Why don't you just go away?!

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